Looks like we're dead no matter what

Yes, it seems no matter who takes over the world, we're pretty much done for.

(from Snorg Tees)

Whopper with over 1,000 pieces of bacon

The folks at Burger King have always said you could "have it your way." Well, one customer in Tokyo, Japan, took them up on it, ordering a Whopper with 1,050 pieces of bacon.

I don't know how long it took him to recover, but when he did he returned and ordered a Whopper with 1,000 pieces of cheese.

The cost of being Batman: $682,451,350

Sorry, Occupiers, but if it wasn't for the 1%, we wouldn't have very many superheroes. Saving the world from evil is an expensive hobby. Just look at what it costs Bruce Wayne:

(from MoneySupermarket.com, via SuperHeroHype.com)

What a trailer for 2001: A Space Odyssey would look like today

(from Film School Rejects, via io9)

An elderly meat-lover's dilemma

Actually, there is no dilemma. The choice is obvious.

(via I Waste So Much Time)

Famous scenes recreated using Star Wars action figures

David Eger uses Star Wars action figures to recreate film posters, movie scenes, album covers, paintings, and famous moments from history.

View more here.

What playing cricket looks like to Americans

This hilarious sketch is from the Dutch comedy group Jiskefet.



(via Kottke)

How to use a paper towel properly

I don't know about you, but I hate walking into a public restroom and finding myself wading ankle-deep in paper towels with nothing left in the dispenser with which to dry my hands or open the door upon exiting. That's because 97% (to use a random figure) of Americans don't know how to use a paper towel properly.

The solution to this problem lies in remembering two simple words: shake, fold. I encourage you to watch this video and forward it along to others. Remember, only you can prevent unnecessary paper towel waste.

Truck being towed backwards = perfect prank opportunity

Government didn't create the internet

Despite what Al Gore and Barack Obama would have you believe, the internet wasn't created by the government:

It's an urban legend that the government launched the Internet. The myth is that the Pentagon created the Internet to keep its communications lines up even in a nuclear strike. The truth is a more interesting story about how innovation happens—and about how hard it is to build successful technology companies even once the government gets out of the way. ...

... As for the government's role, the Internet was fully privatized in 1995, when a remaining piece of the network run by the National Science Foundation was closed—just as the commercial Web began to boom. Blogger Brian Carnell wrote in 1999: "The Internet, in fact, reaffirms the basic free market critique of large government. Here for 30 years the government had an immensely useful protocol for transferring information, TCP/IP, but it languished. ... In less than a decade, private concerns have taken that protocol and created one of the most important technological revolutions of the millennia."

So who really invented the internet? Check out the story in the Wall Street Journal.

Remote device allows users to kiss from a distance

Really? This is what scientists are working on these days?

A new messaging device, dubbed Kissenger, lets users send kisses wirelessly to one another. Unveiled at the Designing Interactive Systems conference in Newcastle, UK, in June, Kissenger comprises a pair of pressure-sensitive soft plastic lips which protrude through a smooth plastic casing the size of a large Easter egg.

The lips contain pressure sensors and actuators. When you kiss them, the shape changes you create are transmitted in real time over the net to a receiving Kissenger. There, the actuators reproduce the mirror image of the pressure patterns you created – magically transmitting your smacker to your partner.

I have no words.

Call Me Gotye

Just when you think you've heard every possible version of Gotye's "Somebody That I Used to Know" and Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," there's always one more. This time, the duo Pomplamoose has put together a bizarrely intriguing mashup two of the most covered songs on YouTube.

Drunk Germans cheering on woman parking

I don't know if parallel parking is a popular spectator sport in Germany or not, but these drunk soccer fans sure seem to find it exciting.

The South Pole on Google Street View

If you're ever find yourself down at the South Pole, you can now use Google Street View to help you get around. Of course, all the streets look the same.

Caught on camera: 71-year-old man shoots armed robbers

Two thugs, one armed with a baseball bat and the other with a gun, burst into the Palms Internet Cafe in Ocala, Florida, and attempted to rob the patrons. Their crime spree was cut short by Samuel Williams, 71, who pulled out his own gun and opened fire. Both robbers were shot, though their wounds were not life-threatening.

The suspects, Duwayne Henderson and Davis Dawkins, both 19, were arrested. Henderson, the one with the gun, remains in custody while Dawkins was release on bail.

In a surprising show of benevolence, officials have said they don't expect to file any charges against Williams.

1962 blurb for The Rolling Stones' first gig

I can't say "I knew them when..." because, well, I wasn't even born yet.

Mick Jagger, R&B vocalist, is taking a rhythm and blues group into the Marquee tomorrow night (Thurs) while Blues Inc. is doing its Jazz Club gig.

Called 'The Rolling Stones' ("I hope they don't think we're a rock 'n' roll outfit", says Mick) the lineup is Jagger, (voc), Keith Richards, Elmo Lewis (gtrs), Dick Taylor (bass), 'Sut' (pno), Mike Avery (drs).

A second group under Long John Baldry will also be there.

(from UPI.com)

Applefied ads

The blog Applefied Ads takes Apple's simplistic approach to advertising and applies it to other products.

I think it works for Apple, but it would be pretty boring if everyone did it.

Smart phone case with built-in stun gun

It's called the Yellow Jacket, and it offers protection for you as well as your phone:

Here at Yellow Jacket, we know from first-hand experience what is needed in a violent situation to escape danger. We have designed our iPhone 4 stun gun case to be easily deployable with one hand. In less than two seconds, both safety mechanisms can be deactivated and the Yellow Jacket stun gun is ready for action. Compare this to a regular stun gun which can take five to ten seconds to find and deploy.

Our iPhone stun gun case is capable of stopping an aggressive attacker. The 650K volt of electricity flows from the electrodes and into the assailant upon contact providing a potential victim with the opportunity to escape danger. Unlike other phone cases, the Yellow Jacket iPhone 4 case gives you the ability to defend yourself. Android models coming soon!

If "TSA customer service" isn't an oxymoron, I don't know what is

This isn't a political blog, but sometimes my virulent hatred for a particular government bureaucracy seeps through. Case in point: the Transportation Security Administration. I cannot think of a better example of all that is wrong with government and central planning.

Given that the TSA has made theft, humiliation, and sexual assault a routine part of airline travel, you can imagine my amusement when I ran across the following on the TSA web site:

TSA strives to provide the highest level of security while ensuring that all passengers are treated with dignity and respect. To that end, TSA launched TSA Cares, a new helpline number designed to assist travelers with disabilities and medical conditions.

Travelers may call TSA Cares toll free at 1-855-787-2227 prior to traveling with questions about screening policies, procedures and what to expect at the security checkpoint. TSA Cares will serve as an additional, dedicated resource specifically for passengers with disabilities, medical conditions or other circumstances or their loved ones who want to prepare for the screening process prior to flying.

The hours of operation for the TSA Cares helpline are Monday through Friday 8 a.m. – 11 p.m. EST and weekends and Holidays 9 a.m. – 8 p.m. EST. Travelers who are deaf or hard of hearing can use a relay service to contact TSA Cares or can e-mail TSA-ContactCenter@dhs.gov.

All travelers can contact TSA using Talk To TSA, a web-based tool that allows passengers to reach out to an airport Customer Service Manager directly, and the TSA Contact Center, 1-866-289-9673 and TSA-ContactCenter@dhs.gov, where travelers can ask questions, provide suggestions and file complaints.

How It Works

• When a passenger with a disability or medical condition calls TSA Cares, a representative will provide assistance, either with information about screening that is relevant to the passenger's specific disability or medical condition, or the passenger may be referred to disability experts at TSA.
  
• TSA recommends that passengers call approximately 72 hours ahead of travel so that TSA Cares has the opportunity to coordinate checkpoint support with a TSA Customer Service Manager located at the airport when necessary.
  
• Every person and item must be screened before entering the secure area of an airport and the manner in which the screening is conducted will depend on the passenger's abilities and any specific equipment brought to the security checkpoint.
  
• All travelers may ask to speak to a TSA supervisor if questions about screening procedures arise while at the security checkpoint.

For more information, click here to read TSA's press release on TSA Cares.

Sure, the TSA can be a pain in the backside (literally), but at least it cares.

U.S. Olympic uniforms are expensive...and made in China

(Ralph Lauren / AP)

The uniforms that will be worn by U.S. athletes in the opening ceremonies of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games were designed by Ralph Lauren, and they're expensive:

Men:
Beret - $55
Tie - $125
Belt - $85
Shirt - $425
Blazer - $795
Trousers - $295
Shoes - $165

Women:
Beret - $55
Scarf - $58
Belt - $85
Shirt - $179
Skirt - $498
Blazer - $598

Best of all, the uniforms are made in China. It doesn't get more American than that.

Star Wars lightsaber from 1978 (balloons not included)

My son is a big Star Wars fan. His birthday is next week. I wonder if they still make these...

No scissors? No problem. Use a piranha!

But please don't run with the piranha.

Waking the dead...with Starbucks coffee

Robinson Funeral Home in Easley, South Carolina, is building a coffee shop attached to the funeral home that will serve Starbucks coffee. Says general manager Chris Robinson, "It should help families escape from the stress a little bit, having a private area to get their minds off of what's going on."

Worried about the cost? Don't be. The crappy free coffee offered by the funeral home will still be available.

How to sell a house in Canada

Make sure the for sale sign includes all the important information needed to lure potential buyers.

More on this story here.

Barack Obama: Man of "Change"

Artist Eric Wondolowski created this portrait of President Obama out of pennies:

(via 22 Words)

How to make a Big Mac at home

The not-so-secret secret is in the sauce.


I can't even remember the last time I had a Big Mac, but I would definitely make one at home before buying one at McDonald's.

Scrap metal...and other stuff

Seen on the way home today...

Chicken McNugget shaped like Secretariat for sale on eBay

Well...it sort of resembles something that may have come from Secretariat...

But it's from a top-rated seller, so it must be legit. Place your bid now!

(via Dave Barry's Blog)

Man attacked by mountain lion, saved by bear

Nothing unusual here. Just your typical mountain-lion-bites-man-bear-bites-mountain-lion story.

Lightning strike during baseball game sends players scattering; fearless grounds crew apparently immune to electricity

About the only sparks during last night's game between the Minnesota Twins and the Texas Rangers occurred in the fourth inning when a bright flash of lightning and a deafening clap of thunder sent players scattering to their dugouts. The ensuing delay lasted for about 45 minutes.


Don't you just love the dedication to safety? "Oh, no! Lightning! Quick! Send out the grounds crew to cover the field!"

Man stranded in the desert converts his car into a motorcycle and drives to safety

Before Tony Stark built his prototype Iron Man suit in an Afghan terrorist camp, Emile Leray had his own MacGyver moment in the desert.

The French electrician was driving through the Moroccan desert in 1993 when his Citreon broke down 20 miles from the nearest village. He didn't think he could make it on foot, so he did what any enterprising 43-year-old man would do: he decided to build a crude motorcycle out of parts from his car.

Using a hacksaw and a small assortment of other tools, Leray went to work. He shortened the car's chassis, reattached the axles and two of the tires, placed the engine and gearbox in the middle, and fashioned part of the rear bumper into a seat. 12 days later, he drove himself to civilization.

Read the full story here.

San Diego's 30-second fireworks show

San Diego boasts one of the nation's largest 4th of July fireworks shows. Yesterday, however, the Big Bay Boom was a Big Bay Bust. Due to an electrical glitch, all of the fireworks were ignited at once, and onlookers were treated to a show that lasted only 30 seconds.


Better luck next year, San Diego.

Rebuilding Detroit...with zombies?

Detroit is a dying city. People are leaving in droves. Entire neighborhoods have been completely abandoned, evoking images of Chernobyl or scenes from some post-apocalyptic film. Government officials have pretty much run out of ideas about how to revitalize the city and have asked the public for help.

One group has come up with a rather unique proposal. The project is entitled Z World Detroit, a "zombie themed experience park":

Imagine that you're living through the zombie apocalypse. You and your group are looking for sanctuary in an abandoned urban landscape. You are out of ammo so you are relying on your smarts to survive. As you start to adjust to your new surroundings, your relative calm is broken by a pack of zombies.

People panic and start to run. Some in your group aren't fast enough and fall to the zombies. Soon they will also be zombies. Where do you go? The odds say make a run for it and you listen. Your group runs down the street and hides in an old warehouse. Is it safe in here? Will the growing zombie horde pass without noticing you? What about your supplies? What about the friend that was lost in the chaos? How long will you survive? Will you make it through the night?

This sounds like an interesting video game, but where is the real thrill in a video game? Suppose this was real. Suppose you were in this with your friends. Suppose you were really running and hiding. Now that would be interesting.

As far as urban renewal plans go, this really isn't that bad. It's certainly better than anything some city planning commission would come up with.

Town cancels fireworks to spare sea birds

Officials in Depoe Bay, Oregon, canceled the town's annual July 3 fireworks show, a tradition since 1993. The reason? They were pressured by federal wildlife managers who said the noise would disrupt sea birds roosting nearby.

Yep. It doesn't really get more American than that.

God Bless the TSA

Since we'll all be reminded of that insipid song today, I thought it would be appropriate to dust off this post from 2010...

GOD BLESS THE TSA
(To the tune of "God Bless the USA," by Lee Greenwood)

If tomorrow all my rights were gone,
I've had for all my life,
And I had to fly again
with my children and my wife.

I'd thank my lucky stars
to be in the USA,
'Cause the flag that stood for freedom
stands for something else today.

And I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

Taking off in Minnesota,
touching down in Tennessee,
It's only possible because of
heightened security.

Being patted down in Houston,
groped and scanned in L.A.
Well there's fear in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say...

That I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

And I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

Copyright © 2010 by Lee R. Shelton IV

Amazing, jaw-dropping surfing video

This day at Teahupoo- Aug 27th 2011 during the Billabong Pro waiting period is what many are calling the biggest and gnarliest Teahupoo ever ridden. Chris Bryan was fortunate enough to be there working for Billabong on a day that will go down in the history of big wave surfing. The French Navy labeled this day a double code red prohibiting and threatening to arrest anyone that entered the water.

(via Kottke)

Sheriff Andy Taylor vs. the Patriot Act

One of my favorite law enforcement officers was, is, and always will be, Sheriff Andy Taylor, played to perfection by Andy Griffith (June 1, 1926 – July 3, 2012).


You gotta admire a cop with principles.

(via The Reformed Citizen)

Infographic: 15 grammar goofs that make you look silly

(from CopyBlogger)

Hot Wheels Double Loop Dare in real life

Drivers Tanner Foust and Greg Tracy accomplished something every little boy dreams of doing after picking up his first Hot Wheels car. They set a Guinness World Record at the 2012 X Games in Los Angeles by racing their cars through a six-story double vertical loop.