Chuck Norris vs. Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris vs. Chuck Norris
(originally posted 11/14/2006)

You are probably aware of the Chuck Norris fad sweeping the Net. If not, here are some of the interesting "facts" you might have missed:

• Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
  
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  
• Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
  
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
  
• When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
  
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  
• Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
  
• When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
  
• Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
  
• There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
  
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  
• Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  
• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy; it is a Chucktatorship.

And there are plenty more. But what does Chuck Norris the Man think about Chuck Norris the Phenomenon? As a columnist for WorldNetDaily, he addressed the issue in a recent article:

I've got a bulletin for you, folks. I am no superman. I realize that now, but I didn't always. As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I could do and what I acquired. I forgot how much I needed others and especially God. Whether we are famous or not, we all need God. We also need other people. If your whole life is spent trying to make money and you neglect the people important in your life, you will create an emptiness deep in your heart and soul. I know. I fell into that trap. I dedicated my whole life to fame and fortune. I had a huge hole in my heart and was miserable until I met my wife, Gena, who brought me back to the Lord. ... ... I'm flattered and amazed by the way I've become a fascinating public figure for a whole new generation of young people around the world. But I am not the characters I play. And even the toughest characters I have played could never measure up to the real power in this universe.

Despite all of the fascinating "facts" out there, I gotta side with Chuck Norris the Man.