Bigfoot shot, dumped in swamp; hunter refuses to release photos

Account of the incident sketched by Owen on a cocktail napkin

Lemon Harangue News

FOLKSTON, Ga. - A Georgia hunter is claiming to have shot Bigfoot. Barry Owen of Folkston allegedly killed the elusive creature in a wooded swamp outside his home town late Monday night.

"I was out turkey hunting," Owen said. "I had set up camp in the woods, and a huge crash woke me up." That's when Owen grabbed his gun and ran outside to investigate.

"It was huge, smelly, and covered in hair," recalled Owen. "He had been scrounging through my supplies, and when he saw me he let out a loud roar and started to charge. I didn't have any choice but to shoot him."

After confirming that he had indeed shot Bigfoot, Owen said he took some pictures of the body and then dumped it somewhere in the Okefenokee Swamp that straddles the border between Georgia and Florida.

"I wanted to be respectful," Owen said. "The fact that no one has ever recovered the body of a Bigfoot indicates they are very ritualistic. They take great care in concealing their dead. Besides, I didn't want the area to become a tourist attraction."

When asked why he didn't at least bring in a tissue, blood, or hair sample to be analyzed, Owen said, "No need. I'd know that hairy son-of-a-gun anywhere. It was him, all right."

Owen is also hanging onto those pictures for now. "It's important to make sure that graphic photos of a Bigfoot that was shot in the head are not floating around causing a bunch of crazy animal rights activists to get their panties in a bunch."

"I don't need to trot out this stuff as trophies," Owen added. "The fact is this creature attacked me, and he got what he deserved."

Owen is no stranger to bizarre incidents. He says he once saw Elvis Presley in a diner outside of Barnesville, and he also claims to have been abducted by extraterrestrials in 1979.

"People are going to doubt me," Owen said, "but they're just going to have to take my word for it. Bigfoot is dead."