We call it BaconAir™, and it's a revolutionary new product that combines the deliciousness of bacon with the unrivaled health benefits of 95% pure Himalayan oxygen. Some of the benefits include:
Convenient and Easy to Use
Bacon Enters Bloodstream in Seconds
No Negative Pork Side Effects
No Calories, Fat or Stimulants
Non-Prescription ~ Recreational Use Only
Maximum Deliciousness
Really. Why breathe boring, flavorless air when you can breathe bacon-flavored air?
Harry Wesley Coover Jr., inventor of Super Glue and recent recipient of the National Medal of Technology and Innovation, passed away last Saturday at his home in Kingsport, Tennessee.
Sure, they're trained to kill, but that doesn't mean women in the military don't want to look fabulous. According to Military.com, Georgia's Ft. Benning is trying out a new Army Combat Uniform for women.
Capt. Patricia Cameron is liking the new uniform and the compliments she's been getting. "People keep asking me: 'Did you do something different? Did you lose some weight?' ... Before I was feeling kind of frumpy in my uniform, whereas now I feel like I look like a professional." Cameron is one of about 150 female soldiers selected to try out the uniform for three months.
The new uniform has incorporated all sorts of changes aimed at giving women more room in those areas where it's needed. The response so far has been very positive. Just ask Sgt. Shakeisha Cheeks. She thinks the new elastic waistband "makes all the difference."
But, alas, that elastic waistband will have to wait. In keeping with bureaucratic military tradition, a new female uniform won't be made standard issue until 2014.
Sadly, I cannot help but see a more serious side to this story. My biggest problem is the inherent implication of the term "Army Combat Uniform for women." Perhaps that's just my chivalrous side coming out, but the Pentagon's Military Leadership Diversity Commission has already recommended "that ground combat units be open to female troops, arguing women are already engaged in combat and that keeping them out of operational career fields puts them at a disadvantage when it comes to promotion."
Apparently, our nation has moved beyond the "Do we dare send women into combat?" stage and into the "We want our sisters, daughters, wives, and mothers to feel comfortable and look good when we send them off to die" stage. Kind of a sad commentary, if you ask me.
There are many reasons why World War I (a.k.a. the Great War, a.k.a. The War to End All Wars) was one of the most senseless, ill-conceived, and downright immoral conflicts in history. But one reason stands out above the rest: Daylight Saving Time. DST was first implemented by Germany (figures) and its allies in 1916 in an effort to conserve coal during the war. England and its allies followed suit, as did the U.S. when it threw its hat into the ring in 1918.
Unfortunately, many people believe sticking to this archaic ritual is worth all the fuss, if only to enjoy that "extra hour" of sleep come the first Sunday in November. But, as I have been saying for years, DST is actually detrimental to one's health. Consider this report in Time:
"Most people don't have much of a problem — they can adjust their body clock quickly. Eventually, after a couple of days, they already can adapt to the new schedule," says Dr. Xiaoyong Yang, an assistant professor of comparative medicine and cellular and molecular physiology at Yale University, who points out that many people routinely recover from slight shifts in their sleep-wake cycles — after staying up late at night to go to party, for instance. "But for some groups of people — people who have depression or a heart problem — there's some research that suggests that [they] have a higher risk of suicide and heart attack."
An Australian study study published in 2008 in Sleep and Biological Rhythms found that men were more likely to commit suicide during the first few weeks of Daylight Saving Time (DST) than at any other time during the year.
Another 2008 study, published by Swedish researchers in the New England Journal of Medicine, found that the number of serious heart attacks jumps 6% to 10% on the first three workdays after DST begins.
In other words, people who are already vulnerable to certain health problems may experience more severe effects of their body-clock disruption. Why that's so is still unclear, but Yang theorizes that shifts in biologic rhythms could trigger harmful inflammatory or metabolic changes at the cellular level, which these individuals may be more susceptible to.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have at least a dozen clocks to reset before I turn in.
Developed nations have become "dangerously over-reliant" on satellite navigation systems such as GPS, which could break down or be attacked with devastating results, British engineers said Tuesday.
The Royal Academy of Engineering said the application of the technology was now so broad -- from car sat-navs to the time stamp on financial transactions -- that without adequate backup, any disruption could have a major impact.
That's why I always travel with adequate backup. It's called a road atlas.
The Easy-Bake Oven as we know it is dead. Thanks to the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, which outlaws the manufacturing of most incandescent light bulbs, the favorite appliance of prepubescent pastry chefs will be getting a makeover.
Hasbro Inc. released the following statement:
We are aware that the 100-watt incandescent light bulb will no longer be available beginning in 2012. In fall 2011, Hasbro will launch the Easy-Bake Ultimate Oven, introducing a new way to bake for the next generation of chefs. This new oven features a heating element that does not use a light bulb and offers an extensive assortment of mixes reflective of the hottest baking trends for today.
I'm picturing something that uses a compact fluorescent bulb and takes a week to bake a cupcake. Such are the innovations I've come to expect in a "green" society.
