Just when you thought Queen couldn't get any classier...

"Bohemian Rhapsody," arranged for four violins.



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Two men fined for rescuing a trapped deer

From The Washington Post:

Two men who rescued a deer trapped in Patapsco River ice were each fined $90 by a state Natural Resources Police officer because they did not have life vests aboard the inflatable boat they used to reach the animal.

A 911 caller reported a deer stuck in the ice near Route 648 in Linthicum about 5 p.m. Thursday, Sgt. Brian Albert of the Maryland Natural Resources Police said.

A natural resources officer and a Baltimore County fire crew arrived and were discussing whether to attempt a rescue when two men on the scene decided they would do it themselves, Albert said.

The two men, Jim Hart and Khalil Abusakran, were advised by the officer on the scene not to attempt a rescue, but they did anyway.

Albert said the men could have faced a stiffer charge: disobeying a lawful order.

"They could have been arrested and taken before a commissioner," Albert said. "Our officer erred on the side of the least invasive action that he could take at the time."

I understand the argument: "If they fell in, then the firefighters would have to risk their own lives to save them." Well, would you be as critical of these guys if they had gone in to save the deer before anyone arrived to tell them otherwise? The fact is the men didn't fall in and didn't end up risking the life of single government employee.

The two rescuers plan to fight the citations in court on February 18, 2011. I hope they win.

If Christmas is late this year, blame the TSA

(AP, via Drudge)

Finale from the infamous 1978 Star Wars Christmas special

National Anthem FAIL

Entire movie filmed in a single, continuous, 96-minute shot

I haven't seen this yet, but I just added it to my Netflix queue.

Report of wife biting off husband's tongue leaves this reader speechless

This is, undoubtedly, the most bizarre story I've seen in a long time. It's the perfect example of a story that probably shouldn't be reported until further details are known because it does nothing to inform the reader, and actually raises more questions than it answers.

Here's the entire AP report so you can see what I mean:

A Wisconsin woman is accused of biting off her husband's tongue as he was giving her a good night kiss.

Sheboygan police say the man in his late 70s called authorities about 11 p.m. Monday, but was having trouble speaking. An ambulance was dispatched to the house.

Sgt. Terry Meyer says the husband and wife were singing Christmas carols when paramedics arrived. Meyer says the woman, in her late 50s, threw a coffee cup at them.

The man was taken to a Sheboygan hospital and then transferred to Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hospital in the Milwaukee area where he was to have his tongue reattached.

Police say the man didn't want his wife arrested. But, she was taken into custody on possible charges of mayhem and domestic violence.

So...anyone else just a little confused?

Awesome name change

Douglas Allen Smith Jr., an unemployed cabinet installer in Eugene, Oregon, was granted a request to have his name legally changed to "Captain Awesome." The nickname was inspired by a character on the NBC television show Chuck.

He is also allowed to use a new signature, which consists of "a right arrow, a smiley face, and a left arrow." Not surprisingly, his bank won't accept it because it would be easy to forge.

Despite the legality of the name change, I cannot bring myself to refer to him as anything other than Douglas Smith. I mean, we already have a Captain Awesome...

Nuts open bridge for squirrels

The latest squirrel news comes from Longview, Washington:

The only thing missing was the marching band.

Speeches, prayer, cheerleaders, a ribbon cutting and a release of doves heralded Monday afternoon's reopening of the Nutty Narrows Bridge for squirrels at its new location above Olympia Way less than a month after the city landmark was taken down for cleaning and repairs.

The Longview Sandbaggers Club, known for elaborate jokes and trademark red-and-white striped jackets and umbrellas, put on the 15-minute tongue-in-cheek ceremony at Olympia Way and 18th Avenue before reconvening at the Monticello Hotel for cake and squirrel-themed cocktails. About 40 people watched as the Longview Parks Department attached the bridge to stout trees on opposite sides of Olympia Way using a cherry picker. "I have been asked to bless a lot of weird things in my life, and this is at the top of my list," said Father Richard Green of St. Stephen's Episcopal Church in Longview.

Full story here.

Meativity scene

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Quentin Tarantino is a creative genius

Not to mention innovative and original...

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Motivational poster for aspiring karate kids

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Don't people realize clowns are scary?

I was going through some phonics flash cards with my two-year-old daughter. She was having a blast, and kept asking for more...until I came across this one...

She took it, looked at it for a moment, handed it back to me, and said, "All done."

So, why couldn't the manufacturer of these cards include something that was actually kid-friendly, like a cloud or a clock? The only explanation I can think of is that this was someone's idea of a sick joke.

TSA's new book for kids

It's only a matter of time.

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God Bless the TSA

(To the tune of "God Bless the USA," by Lee Greenwood)

If tomorrow all my rights were gone,
I've had for all my life,
And I had to fly again
with my children and my wife.

I'd thank my lucky stars
to be in the USA,
'Cause the flag that stood for freedom
stands for something else today.

And I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

Taking off in Minnesota,
touching down in Tennessee,
It's only possible because of
heightened security.

Being patted down in Houston,
groped and scanned in L.A.
Well there's fear in every American heart,
and its time we stand and say...

That I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

And I'm proud to be an American,
where I'm safe instead of free.
And I know the government has lied,
but they know what's best for me.

And I'd gladly strip down in front of you,
'cause there is no better way
To assure us all it's safe to fly,
God bless the TSA!

Copyright © 2010 by Lee R. Shelton IV

Floating zombie-proof fortress

When it comes to survival, mobility is probably the most important factor -- especially during a zombie apocalypse. This floating fortress is the perfect safe-house. Just imagine yourself drifting along the Mighty Mississippi, safe from the zombie hordes and enjoying what's left of some of America's favorite skylines as your bedroom view. Win-win.

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Even sharks don't like paparazzi

A camera-shy tiger shark snatches the camera from an underwater photographer near the Bahamas.

Story here.

Government licensing is good for two things...

Limiting competition and limiting consumers' choices.

Following through

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Modern art was a CIA Cold War propaganda weapon

From a recent article in The Independent:

For decades in art circles it was either a rumour or a joke, but now it is confirmed as a fact. The Central Intelligence Agency used American modern art - including the works of such artists as Jackson Pollock, Robert Motherwell, Willem de Kooning and Mark Rothko - as a weapon in the Cold War. In the manner of a Renaissance prince - except that it acted secretly - the CIA fostered and promoted American Abstract Expressionist painting around the world for more than 20 years.

The connection is improbable. This was a period, in the 1950s and 1960s, when the great majority of Americans disliked or even despised modern art - President Truman summed up the popular view when he said: "If that's art, then I'm a Hottentot." As for the artists themselves, many were ex-communists barely acceptable in the America of the McCarthyite era, and certainly not the sort of people normally likely to receive US government backing.

Why did the CIA support them? Because in the propaganda war with the Soviet Union, this new artistic movement could be held up as proof of the creativity, the intellectual freedom, and the cultural power of the US. Russian art, strapped into the communist ideological straitjacket, could not compete.

The existence of this policy, rumoured and disputed for many years, has now been confirmed for the first time by former CIA officials. Unknown to the artists, the new American art was secretly promoted under a policy known as the "long leash" - arrangements similar in some ways to the indirect CIA backing of the journal Encounter, edited by Stephen Spender.

The decision to include culture and art in the US Cold War arsenal was taken as soon as the CIA was founded in 1947. Dismayed at the appeal communism still had for many intellectuals and artists in the West, the new agency set up a division, the Propaganda Assets Inventory, which at its peak could influence more than 800 newspapers, magazines and public information organisations. They joked that it was like a Wurlitzer jukebox: when the CIA pushed a button it could hear whatever tune it wanted playing across the world.

Introducing bacon-flavored soda

Come on. You knew it was only a matter of time:

When you're too lazy to make bacon, why not pop a bottle and just drink bacon instead?

J&D Foods, a company that specializes in all things bacon -- including bacon-flavored envelopes and the bacon Kevin Bacon sculpture that made headlines recently -- has taken the obsession one step further by coming up with a new drinkable pork product: bacon-flavored soda.

That's right, Coca-Cola is out, and swine soda is in.

J&D Foods owner Justin Esch told AOL News that his company recently partnered with Jones Soda to create a special-edition bacon-flavored drink just in time for the holidays.

Shooting kittens with laser blasters

Don't worry. They're set on stun.

Happy Meal toys banned in San Francisco

The latest nanny state nonsense comes from the West Coast:

San Francisco on Tuesday became the first major U.S. city to pass a law that cracks down on the popular practice of giving away free toys with unhealthy restaurant meals for children.

San Francisco's Board of Supervisors passed the law on a veto-proof 8-to-3 vote. It takes effect on December 1.

The law, like an ordinance passed earlier this year in nearby Santa Clara County, would require that restaurant kids' meals meet certain nutritional standards before they could be sold with toys.

Three quick points: 1) McDonald's employees have never, ever, dragged a kid in from off the street and force-fed him a Happy Meal. Not once. 2) No intelligent person believes this ban on toys will actually affect childhood obesity. 3) Allowing eight self-appointed saviors to make dietary decisions for every single child in an entire city is infinitely more detrimental to overall societal health than enticing kids to eat a hamburger and fries for lunch.

Time to buy that pellet gun

This afternoon I went behind the garage to re-stack the firewood. When I lifted the tarp covering the woodpile, I discovered why those squirrels had been so active in the back yard, and why I was finding so many walnuts scattered all over the place.

Walmart Shoppers in All Their Glory

I thought this seemed appropriate on Halloween.

See more here.

Halloween Light Show

Caught on Video: Elderly Woman Driving Wrong Way on Interstate

An 84-year-old woman from Wilmington, Pennsylvania, was seen driving the wrong way on I-95 Thursday afternoon, causing several crashes along the way. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.

This video was shot by another driver:


So far, the woman has not been formally charged with any crime.

Naturally, the first thing I thought of after reading that story was this scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles:

Allow Extra Time at the Airport When Traveling This Holiday Season

Thanks to changes in the "security" screening process in U.S. airports, you will want to allow plenty of extra time when traveling this holiday season. As a passenger, you now have a choice when passing through a security checkpoint: 1) You may walk through the full-body image scanner, or 2) you may submit to a pat-down.

If you opt for the latter, be aware that this is not a back-of-the-hand frisking and a quick wave of a metal-detecting wand. The new procedure is so invasive that the TSA agents conducting these intimate groping sessions will be required to buy each passenger dinner first. Pad your travel schedule accordingly.

Of course, you could always choose option one and have naked pictures of yourself taken and stored in a federal database so they can be ogled later by tax-subsidized perverts. It's entirely up to you.

I really long for the days when traveling to Grandma's meant a pleasant sleigh ride over the river and through the woods. I don't know about you, but my idea of holiday cheer doesn't involve sexual harassment.

Dads Against Daughters Dating

I may have to get one of these within the next few years.

NEWSFLASH: The World Won't End in 2012

Let's clear up something first. The Mayans never predicted the cataclysmic end of all things in a particular year; their calendar just ran out of dates. My theory is that the guy assigned to write down all those dates simply got tired and quit. But try making that into a Hollywood movie.

Like Y2K before it, 2012 has become its own multimillion-dollar industry. Web sites, books, movies, you name it; just about everyone has gotten in on the action. So imagine the collective disappointment when it was discovered that the Mayan Long Count Calendar - or at least our understanding of it - is wrong. The world won't come to an end in 2012. In fact, the ending date on the calendar may be off by 50 to 100 years. (Someone forgot to carry the one, or something like that.)

I guess that means our grandchildren will probably be the ones having to worry about the end of the world. But since they would have already had to deal with the bankruptcy of Social Security and Medicare, the collapse of the U.S. dollar, a third world war, and several more butchered re-releases of the Star Wars movies, I can't think of a better-prepared generation.

iPhone Travels to Space, Falls 100,000 Feet, and Survives

This is cool. Over the span of eight months, seven year old Max Geissbuhler and his father built a spacecraft designed to carry an iPhone that would record the trip to the outer edge of Earth's atmosphere. Here is footage of that amazing trip.



So what did your kid do for his science project?

iPhone Rock Concert on the B Train

Members of the alternative rock group Atomic Tom, using only iPhones, perform their single "Take Me Out" on the B Train in New York City.

"Validation" (an Award-Winning Short Film)

Mr. T on Sound Investing

I don't want to speak for Mr. T, but I'm sure he would pity the fool who doesn't invest in gold.



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Original Star Wars Trilogy As a Paper Animation

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Tired of Expensive Deodorants That Don't Work? Make Your Own

With very few exceptions, Americans like to smell good. In addition to showering and bathing regularly, we try to conceal our odorous emanations with all sorts of deodorants, antiperspirants, lotions, colognes, and perfumes.

Have you ever stopped to think what all of that costs? According to Euromonitor International, a market research firm, Americans spent $2.3 billion on deodorant and antiperspirant in 2006. That's a lot of Speed Stick.

There are other costs involved in our obsession with hygiene. One major problem with antiperspirants is that they inevitably stain your clothes. White shirts develop yellow stains from the toxic chemicals used to keep your armpits dry. Companies have recently started coming out with new formulas designed to minimize yellowing, but they are even more expensive than the regular stuff.

Deodorants, on the other hand, simply don't work. At all. If you like the smell of B.O. with a touch of lilac, then store-bought deodorant is your best choice.

I know what you're thinking: "Are there any alternatives?" I'm glad you asked.

A brief perusal of the internet will yield a wide range of interesting and creative suggestions for fighting body odor. There is one in particular that has worked for me, and now instead of spending hundreds of dollars each year on products that really don't do what they're supposed to do, I spend a few bucks on a solution that has proven to be 100% effective.

You will find many variations of this online, but here are the only ingredients needed for a natural deodorant that actually works:

• 1/4 cup baking soda
  
• 1/4 cup corn starch
  
• 4 to 5 tablespoons refined coconut oil

Stir the ingredients together until they are thoroughly mixed and store in a small jar or Tupperware container. (Coconut oil is solid at room temperature, so you may have to heat it in the microwave or in a saucepan to make mixing easier.) To use, simply scoop a nickel-sized amount on your fingertips and apply under your arms.

The baking soda fights the bacteria causing underarm odor, and the corn starch absorbs moisture. The coconut oil holds it together in a nice paste, and since it melts at about 76° F, your body heat makes application very easy. (I prefer refined coconut oil because it doesn't smell like coconut.) I can only speak from personal experience, but this stuff works better than any deodorant I have ever tried, and I've tried a lot.

The nice thing about this homemade deodorant is that you can experiment with the formula to find a mixture that suits your particular body type. For example, someone with more sensitive skin may want to use less baking soda, or even add some aloe during the mixing process. Those who like their deodorant to have some fragrance can add a dash of scented oil (e.g. tea tree oil). The combinations are virtually endless.

Of course, the best thing about it is that it works. Again, I can only speak for myself, but there have been many occasions in which one application has lasted over 36 hours -- and several of those included mowing the lawn in 90-degree heat.

So, if you're tired of expensive deodorants that don't work, stop complaining and just make your own. What have you got to lose?

Alton Brown Talks Food and Faith

I've always liked Alton Brown, host of the popular Food Network show Good Eats. Unlike most chefs, he doesn't just show you the how; he explains the why, and he does it by delving into the science behind the cooking process.

In a recent interview with Eater.com, Brown discussed food, but he also opened up about his faith. I especially liked his response when asked about being a born-again Christian: "Yeah, 'born-again' is kind of an odd term because that's like saying a see-through window. But yes, I am a Christian."

You can read the full interview here.

Stop Saying "Irregardless"!

Jane Austen's Fight Club

Star Wars Movies to Be Released in 3D

Oh, yes. George Lucas is at it again:

George Lucas plans to re-release the entire "Star Wars" franchise in 3D beginning in 2012, according to both Variety and the Hollywood Reporter.

20th Century Fox released all six of the original "Star Wars" films and would release the 3D conversions as well.

The ambitious plan will start with "Episode 1: The Phantom Menace," followed in order by the rest of the series, with one film coming out each year. That means that the original "Star Wars" wouldn't debut until 2015, which could be too late if the last three films underperform at the box office.

It's unclear when during the calendar year the films would be released, but a Lucasfilm spokesperson told Variety that each movie will open wide and "as close to day and date (worldwide) as possible."

In the words of old Ben Kenobi, "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

Cool Custom Action Figures

As these uniquely familiar action figures can attest, retro is cool.

Not that long ago, in a galaxy not that far away...

Steam Wars
The Star Wars universe gets a Victorian makeover.

Star Wars: 1942
Set during World War II.

Victorian Marvels
The Avengers by gaslight.

See these and other cool collections at Sillof.com.

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Time-Lapse Video of Rotting Food

Just in time for lunch...

A Mysterious Death

James Heselden, 62, was found dead in the River Wharfe in West Yorkshire after a witness claimed to have seen a man falling over a 30-foot cliff. The Segway personal transporter Heselden was believed to have been riding when he fell was found near his body. At this time police do not consider his death to be suspicious.

There is a twist in the story. Heselden owns the company that makes the Segway, and was apparently cruising around on a cross-country version of the vehicle while checking on the grounds of his estate.

Hmmm. Drove over a cliff on his own property. That fact alone doesn't make his death suspicious?

Labor Union Hypocrisy

Working Stiffed

www.thedailyshow.com

Keep Your Kids Out of Indiana's "Pubic" Schools

Stories like this one out of South Bend, Indiana, are always great blog fodder:

If you ever wondered how much difference just one letter can make when it comes to a message, ask the thousands of people who drove by a digital billboard near the intersection of Ironwood and State Road 23 between Thursday and Monday morning.

The ad urged people to go to the "southbendon.com" website for a look at the "15 best things about our pubic schools." That's right, the billboard said "pubic" instead of "public" schools. The letter "L" had been left out of the word public.

Now, I don't know what's more sad, the fact that an ad celebrating public education was misspelled, or that the reporter thought it necessary to explain to her readers exactly which letter in the word was missing. Either way, it doesn't reflect well on the people of Indiana.

Real Free Market Entrepreneurs Are Criminals

NPR recently reported on an elusive criminal operating in New York's black market:

For years, if you wanted illegal drugs in New York City, you'd get the number of an anonymous dealer who would show up at your location with the goods. Now an entrepreneur who goes by the name of "Ronnie" is trying this technique with...grilled cheese sandwiches. Hungry customers get Ronnie's number from a friend, or a friend-of-a-friend, and they text their order, and in 15 minutes or less they get a hot, grilled cheese anywhere in the Lower East Side.

Read the full story here.

While NPR didn't go into any detail on this particular aspect, it's clear from the story that "Ronnie," a real free market entrepreneur, is a criminal. He's one of those awful, evil villains who don't first obtain permission from the government or pay the required extortion fees in order to make their businesses "legitimate."

Imagine wanting to open a sandwich shop in your neighborhood. A local mob boss pays you a visit and informs you that in order to operate a business in his territory you must pay him "protection" money. If you don't...well, something unpleasant might happen. That's exactly what goes on in every neighborhood in America, only the local mob bosses are actually government officials, the "protection" fees are called licenses, and the thugs hired to enforce this arrangement wear badges and have a lot more high-tech weaponry at their disposal.

All "Ronnie" is doing is making and selling grilled cheese sandwiches. He offers a perfectly safe product, and people are willing to pay him for it. Someone please tell me how this hurts anyone. There is no threat to life, liberty, or property -- and isn't the protection of life, liberty, and property the only reason we have laws in the first place?

Things That an Average Person Would Do During a Zombie Apocalypse

Whoever said this blog wasn't informative?

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The Scariest Video I've Seen in a Long Time

I dare you to watch this without getting weak in the knees. (Click on the image below to watch.)

Computers Set for a Quantum Leap

According to this report in the Financial Times, today's computers may soon go the way of manual typewriters:

A new photonic chip that works on light rather than electricity has been built by an international research team, paving the way for the production of ultra-fast quantum computers with capabilities far beyond today's devices.

Future quantum computers will, for example, be able to pull important information out of the biggest databases almost instantaneously. As the amount of electronic data stored worldwide grows exponentially, the technology will make it easier for people to search with precision for what they want.

In fact, Ziggy says there's a 93.8% chance that quantum computing will be possible within five years.

Imagine a Jump: Lennon Meets Van Halen

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Maybe I Won't Take That Cruise

The following video features CCTV footage from a Pacific Sun Cruise liner in very heavy seas.



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A Bird in the Hand...

Shocking Example of Stupidity

If you like to see dumb people doing dumb things, you can simply flip on "reality TV." But if you really want to see just how stupid people can get, read the news. Like this story: Kyle Dubois, a high school student in Dover, New Hampshire, decided to have a little fun in his electrical trades class by clamping an electrical demonstration cord to his nipples and plugging it in. Needless to say, the stunt left him critically injured.

Keep in mind that this was an electrical trades class. One would think that a student taking such a class, even in a public school, would have some vague idea of what electricity can do.

But that isn't even the stupid part. How do you think Dubois and his parents responded to this shocking experience? They sued his teacher, the school district, and the city of Dover.

The Insanity of Homeowners Associations

I have long-despised residential associations. Like labor unions, they tend to be run by bitter, lonely people whose only pleasure in life is forcing misery upon others. The Week lists seven prime examples here.

Obama Bumper Sticker Removal Kit

Emeril Was Right: Pork Fat Rules!

Could bacon grease be the fountain of youth? CNN wanted to know. One commenter, "okbob," writes:

My grandfather ate pork at every meal starting with bacon in the morning and fried in lard pork chops all his life. It finally killed him at the age of 92. My wife and I are close to 70, in good health and love our meat. I'm not knocking the veggies because we eat lots of greens but meat has been getting a bad rap ever since Disney started cartooning.

"Anecdotal? Sure," the article concludes. "But until Dr. Sanjay Gupta tells us otherwise, we're chugging bacon fat smoothies for breakfast, lunch, dinner and every last snack attack."

Real or Fake?

I'll bet you can't tell which government spending programs are real and which are fake...



Just a little reminder that the government exists to waste your money.

Taking the Red Eye

Christoph Niemann presents "a visual diary documenting a flight from New York to Berlin (with a layover in London)."

See the rest here.

Why University Websites Aren't That Helpful

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Squirrels Attack Unarmed College Students

War has broken out on the campus of the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. From KLFY News:

UL students are getting more than they wanted while simply trying to feed squirrels.

Campus squirrels have resorted to biting students, including one incident that occurred within the past month.

The bitings usually occur when students and teachers try to feed the animals. The squirrels mistake the reaching hands for food and attempt to bite.

"Mistake"? No. The squirrels know exactly what they're doing. I think it might be time for Governor Jindal to call in the Louisiana National Guard.

Donkey Kong Country Returns

You'll Like This

Have you ever wished you could utilize the Facebook "Like" button in real life? Well, thanks to the folks at Nation design studio, you can.

Beware Teleprompters with Missing Punctuation

If you're a news anchor, knowing just how long to pause between sentences is part of the job, regardless of what may or may not be on the teleprompter.



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Happy Father's Day!

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Bigfoot Spotted in North Carolina?

I'm a sucker for a good Bigfoot sighting. Every time I hear a report -- like the latest one from North Carolina -- I really, really want it to be true.



Then again, having definite proof of the existence of such creatures would probably ruin the mystique.

(Hmmm...North Carolina. I wonder where Congressman Bob Etheridge was that night.)

The Perfect Father's Day Tie

Introducing the Pillow Tie!

It's a practical gift, especially for the dad who travels a lot...



It's also easy to use. Simply inflate and nap...

NAACP Calls Hallmark Graduation Card Racist

My first thought when I saw that headline was, The NAACP? Really? They're still around? Yes, they're still around, and just as bitter and ignorant as ever.



After watching the report, my second thought was this: Doesn't the fact that the NAACP considers this evidence of racism pretty much suggest that racism might not be much of a problem anymore? One can't help but wonder.

The Perfect Game That Wasn't

Let's face it. Baseball isn't a very exciting sport, but it does have its moments, such as seeing a pitcher go down in history for pitching a perfect game. How could it get more exciting? Being one out away from a perfect game...and then seeing it ruined by a call that even Stevie Wonder wouldn't have made.

Need More Money? Stop Paying Your Mortgage

If someone were to write a book entitled A Slacker's Guide to Financial Success, I'm sure "Just Stop Paying Your Bills" would be one of the chapters included. But some people are already discovering that strategy for themselves:

For Alex Pemberton and Susan Reboyras, foreclosure is becoming a way of life — something they did not want but are in no hurry to get out of.

Foreclosure has allowed them to stabilize the family business. Go to Outback occasionally for a steak. Take their gas-guzzling airboat out for the weekend. Visit the Hard Rock Casino.

"Instead of the house dragging us down, it's become a life raft," said Mr. Pemberton, who stopped paying the mortgage on their house here last summer. "It's really been a blessing."

A growing number of the people whose homes are in foreclosure are refusing to slink away in shame. They are fashioning a sort of homemade mortgage modification, one that brings their payments all the way down to zero. They use the money they save to get back on their feet or just get by.

This type of modification does not beg for a lender's permission but is delivered as an ultimatum: Force me out if you can. Any moral qualms are overshadowed by a conviction that the banks created the crisis by snookering homeowners with loans that got them in over their heads.

The lesson to be learned is that you are not responsible for making stupid financial decisions, such as buying a home you can't afford. There will always be someone else to blame.

Lost: Just a Couple of Unanswered Questions

Lost is now part of television history. Still, a couple questions remain unanswered...

Man Jumps from Car Because Wife Wouldn't "Shut Up"

Down Tennessee way, a 23-year-old man was seen jumping from a moving car on Guthrie Highway. The reason he jumped? His wife wouldn't "shut up."

The man was last reported to be in critical but stable condition at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

Beware the Poop Police

The main reason I'm glad I don't live in a condo or belong to any residential association is that I just couldn't tolerate the sheer stupidity that inevitably accompanies such an arrangement. Consider what's happening at the Scarlett Place condominium in Baltimore.

It appears that some pampered pooch has been pooping on the premises, and the dog's owner has been rather lax in extracting the execrable excrement. So the condo board, in a display of Solomonic wisdom, is proposing that all dogs in the building undergo DNA tests in an effort to discover the culprit:

Under the proposal, every dog at Scarlett Place and guest dogs would be swabbed for a DNA sample — owners would then have to pay $50 each to cover the test and supplies. Dog owners would also pay an extra $10 per month per dog to cover the cost of having the building's staff scoop poop and send it to a lab. Feces, like saliva, contains tell-tale DNA.

If the lab identifies your dog as the pooper, that's a $500 fine.

Richard Hopp, an attorney and dog owner who has lived in the building for four years, summed up perfectly the idiocy of such a proposal: "I feel like I'm living in a Seinfeld episode."

"Hey, it's the guy...from that movie...you know, That Guy!"

You've all seen That Guy. He pops up in just about every movie and TV show you've ever seen. You can describe him to others, and they will know exactly who you're talking about, but none of you can remember That Guy's real name -- or if he even has a real name.

Well, that should no longer be a problem. Here is the most complete That Guy lineup on the Internet. Enjoy!

A Goldmine for Identity Thieves

Nearly every copier built since 2002 contains a hard drive that stores images of every document copied, printed, faxed, or emailed on that machine.

Imaginative Illustrations Inspired By Film

Andrew Lindstrom over at Well Medicated has compiled 25 imaginative illustrations inspired by film. A couple of examples:

Check out the rest here.