What's in a Name?

In the current economic crisis, some employers are choosing to bestow upon their workers fancy new job titles in lieu of a raise. Check out this Top 20 list from the Telegraph:

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer – Barman
   
2. Colour Distribution Technician – Painter & Decorator
   
3. Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant – Shop Assistant
   
4. Domestic Technician – Housewife
   
5. Education Centre Nourishment Consultant – Dinner Lady
   
6. Highway Environmental Hygienist – Road Sweeper
   
7. Field Nourishment Consultant – Waitress
   
8. Five a Day Collection Operative – Fruit Picker
   
9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator – Call Centre Worker
   
10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician – Dish Washer
    
11. Mass Production Engineer – Factory Worker
    
12. Media Distribution Officer – Paper Boy
    
13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator – Burger Van Worker
    
14. Mortar Logistics Engineer – Labourer
    
15. Petroleum Transfer Engineer – Petrol Station Assistant
    
16. Recycling Operative – Bin Man
    
17. Sanitation Consultant – Toilet Cleaner
    
18. Coin Facilitation Engineer – Toll Booth Collector
    
19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator – Window Cleaner
    
20. Vehicle Restoration Engineer – Panel Beater

I have a hard time believing that the title of "media distribution officer" would have garnered me more respect back when I delivered papers. If that paper didn't make it all the way to the front porch, I was just the %$&*#@! paper boy.