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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Enough with the Turkey Pardons Already!

Perhaps the dumbest, most idiotic pastime in this country (next to Daylight Saving Time, of course) is the pardoning of the National Thanksgiving Turkey. This year, we were treated to a double dose of stupidity when President Bush pardoned two birds.

And in case you were wondering what's going to happen to these turkeys, don't worry. They're going to Disneyland. No, I'm not kidding:
    The National Thanksgiving Turkey will really have something to celebrate following today's traditional Presidential pardon ceremony in the White House Rose Garden. "Pumpkin" and his alternate "Pecan" are going to Disneyland! It starts with a police escort to Dulles International Airport. Then the birds will "fly" First-Class on United Airlines Flight Turkey-1 to their new home at Disneyland Resort in Southern California.

    The turkey's special Thanksgiving Day celebration is a preview of things to come in 2009, as Disney Parks asks guests, "What Will You Celebrate?" and invites them to mark life's special moments with a Disney visit.

    The trip from Washington, D.C., to Los Angeles will mark the fourth consecutive year that the National Thanksgiving Turkey has celebrated his pardon at a Disney Resort. Accompanied by National Turkey Federation Chairman Paul Hill of Ellsworth, Iowa, Pumpkin, a 20-week-old, 45-pound tom turkey, will be the grand marshal in a special Thanksgiving Day parade down Main Street U.S.A. Following the parade, Pumpkin and his alternate Pecan will find a home at Santa's Reindeer Round-Up at Big Thunder Ranch in Frontierland, where they'll remain throughout the holidays and the rest of their lives.
What I've always found funny is that we celebrate the pardoning of one turkey with the full knowledge that another poor bird just like it is going to end up on the president's table anyway. Isn't it time we dispensed of this ridiculous ritual once and for all?



2 comments:

Chris Wilde said...

Here's the only turkey pardon I'm issuing this year:

"BUUURP!"

"Pardon me!"

Dawn S. said...

eh, lighten up! it is a funny tradition!

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