We Need More Rules

Since turning schools into gun-free zones has ended school shootings and made kids safer, why not carry that same unassailable logic further and make kids healthier? Well, one school did just that.

Sheridan Middle School, in New Haven, Connecticut, has banned all candy sales as part of a district-wide wellness policy. Naturally, you can always count on one or two miscreants to rock the boat, and one eighth-grade honors student thought he could get away with buying a bag of Skittles from another student.

What insolence! It is that kind of brazen disregard for authority that puts society as a whole at risk.

Fortunately, law and order won out and the rebellious student received a one-day suspension, was barred from attending an honors student dinner, and was stripped of his title as class vice president. That should teach the little brat.

Look. It's simple. Just as the banning of guns on school grounds means no dead kids, it is only logical to conclude that the banning of candy sales means no fat kids. You just can't argue with that kind of reasoning.

But if you dare to question authority and flout the rules put in place for your own protection, even without realizing it, then you must be made to suffer the harshest of consequences. Anything less would be seen as a sign of weakness, and without a strong, centralized authority, civilization as we know it would collapse.



UPDATE: The same school district, back in 1993, approved a plan to distribute condoms to kids as early as the fifth grade. Thank goodness for public "education"!