Purgatorio Withdrawal? Try Thinking Inside the Box

All five semi-regular readers of Lemon Harangue Pie are familiar with Marc Heinrich's site Purgatorio, which treated us to "a panoply of evangelical eccentricities, un-orthodox oddities & christian cultural curiosities." As you know, Marc went on hiatus back in January, leaving a satirical void that desperately needed to be filled.

Well, thanks to the brilliant mind of Tom Slawson, we now have the Tominthebox News Network. It's been up and running for over three months, so here are a few of the stories you might have missed:

• Churches to Begin Offering Low-Carb Communion Options
  With the recent growth in popularity of diets such as the Atkins and Southbeach, churches across denominational lines are searching for new ways to get congregation members to once again take communion. ...
  
  
• Phelps Runs Out of People to Anathematize
  Known for his aggressive, provocative and often controversial style of "preaching," the Rev. Fred Phelps, pastor of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, has found his "ministry" faced with a new problem. ...
  
  
• Fundamentalists Hope New "ePhod" Will Be a Hit
  In an effort to keep fundamentalist KJV-only teens from coveting, Pensacola Christian College announced that it will soon release its first ever electronic item called the ePhod. ...
  
  
• Net Finney Guards Families Against the Harmful Effects of Calvinism
  It is a situation that is becoming all too common. An unsuspecting individual begins to innocently search the internet for information on a particular subject and suddenly finds his or herself faced with the perils of Reformed theology. ...
  
  
• Church Goes "Glam Rock" to Attract "Old Rockers"
  ... And finally, when it seems that the building momentum can go no further in runs Pastor David Remington, face painted, hair-waving. He falls to his knees sliding to the center of the stage and air-guitars to an improvised solo by the church's praise band guitarist. ...
  
  
• NASB Onlyism Gaining New Momentum
  "You just can't be any more NASB than we are," said pastor Doug Holstein of Clearwater Baptist Church in Tacoma, Washington. "We believe that the New American Standard Bible is the absolute perfect and preserved Bible. There's no need to go back to the Greek and Hebrew to understand some kind of 'deeper meaning' of the text. It's all right there in English, in the New American Standard." ...
  
  
• Bob Jones University Starts "ThySpace" for Students
  Life at Bob Jones University can seem "strict" to some. Girls are restricted from wearing pants on certain parts of the campus. All dates must be chaperoned by one of the college staff, and under no circumstances are couples allowed to touch. Violations of these rules are strictly enforced, and those who accumulate enough demerits during a school year face expulsion. But recently rules regarding internet access on campus have been reevaluated. ...

Slawson also brought us Superbox I, the all-star showdown between the Alpha & Omega Ministries Calvinists and the Berean Call Arminians. If you missed it, you can download it here: 1st half, 2nd half.

Be sure to check out Tominthebox News Network. You won't be disappointed!