Kids, Say "Yes" to Drugs

From Reuters:

Anti-reflux drugs safe for long-term use in kids

Long-term use of proton pump inhibitors (PPIs)--drugs such as Prilosec (omeprazole) and Prevacid (lansoprazole) that are used to stop stomach acid from "refluxing" into the esophagus--appears to be safe and effective in children, according to a report in The Journal of Pediatrics.

"PPIs are drugs that have revolutionized the practice of pediatric gastroenterology, and they have a wide margin of safety," study co-author Dr. Eric Hassall from BC Children's Hospital/University of British Columbia, Vancouver, told Reuters Health. "However, long-term use needs to be justified by an established diagnosis, and repeated attempts at withdrawal."

Hassall and associates characterized 166 pediatric patients with reflux disease who received PPIs at their institution for up to 11 years.

"Gee, doctor, I don't understand. Jimmy always seems to get terrible heartburn after he eats a Big Mac, fries, a shake, and two apple pies. It also seems to happen when he eats a tub of ice cream, a box of Twinkies, or a bag of bite-sized Three Musketeers. We want so badly for him to have a normal childhood like every other 100-pound five-year-old, but we just don't know what to do. Are there any drugs that would alleviate the symptoms so that it feels like we're addressing the problem without actually having to make any real lifestyle changes?"

"Why, certainly! Here. Give him one of these little pills just before he eats a bunch of crap and he should be just fine."

Acid reflux drugs for kids? What's next? Chewable Flintstones Viagra? This has to be the biggest scam since attention deficit disorder.

Oh, yes. I went there!